Exact Title TBD

I always keep a fresh idiom in my back pocket in case I need one. Come to think of it, symbolically stowing anything in one's back pocket is in itself an idiom. Or maybe it's a metaphor. Who really knows the difference? No doubt about it, for those uncomfortable pauses in conversation that require a jump start or change in direction, the idiom is just the thing. Problem is, people are rarely prepared to step up to the plate and deliver the winning run, idiomatically speaking. Or metaphorically speaking. And even if they are able to come up with an idiom at a moment's notice, it's likely to be some hackneyed cliché that falls like a lead balloon. In fact, many people are fond of that very expression: "it fell like a lead balloon." Except, technically, that would be a simile. Or an aphorism. It's difficult to say.

Anyway, without further ado, here's one of my original idioms:

"Don't bake a potato unless you know there's butter in the dish."

Pretty good idiom, wouldn't you say? Or metaphor. Or maybe it's a colloquialism. Whatever. I like it. It's deep and meaningless at the same time. Everything that an idiom should be. Or a maxim. Either way, lay that on people at a party, tell them "don't bake a potato unless you know there's butter in the dish," and they're going to shake their heads and say, "Amen to that, brother." People appreciate a well-crafted idiom, especially one they haven't heard before, one that makes them think. Or maybe reflect.

I have quite a few other original idioms. You know, to cover a wide variety of situations. In fact, I'm working on a book of idioms. It's going to be called "Jack's pocket guide to original idioms or metaphors or _____." I'm going to let the editors work out the exact title. Every morning I go down into the writer's cave that I dug in my basement and work on a new idiom for the book. The cave is a wonderfully creative work space, albeit a bit damp.

Here's another of my idioms for you before I go:

"If you notice that your socks don't match your pants, you probably spend too much time looking down."

Or maybe that's a non sequitur. Also, I may have read it in a Chinese fortune cookie.

Please buy my book when it comes out. In addition to the paper copy, there will be digital versions for your iPod and car's navigation system. Now, back to the cave...