Thank you for considering Two Monks and a Truck for your upcoming move. Here are a few things you should know about us:
First of all, we are not a licensed moving company. We are a monastic religion born in the mountains of Tibet. However, during our short time here on this planet, we must also be good citizens. So, we bought a truck and started helping our neighbors move – for free!
That's right: your move will be free. There are no costs associated with our service. But donations, or alms as we call them, are graciously accepted and may be delivered in person to our monastery during daylight hours. Goats and chickens are always welcome, as are bales of cotton, beeswax candles and antibiotics.
With Two Monks and a Truck there is no contract to sign. What value can be gained from words on paper if there is no underlying trust between human beings or if there is no place to store the paper? We don't have file cabinets.
The monks are not paid. Do not attempt to give them money. We provide for the basic needs of our monks, including one cooked meal per day, cold running water for washing up, a stone slab lined with hay to sleep on at night and a hickory switch to self-flagellate away thoughts of needing more.
We are not responsible in any way for your things. Of course, we will be careful not to damage your belongings, but "bad karma happens," as the monks often say.
It is possible that our monks will not speak to you for the duration of the move. However, there may be loud chanting or ululating. This is normal and not a cause of panic. Join in if you'd like.
We offer flexible scheduling, meaning that our monks have complete flexibility to come to your house at a specific time or to stay at the monastery and meditate. If we don't arrive on time, you'll know why – we are in a transcendental state!
Sorry, but no pianos or safes. Our monks are not very strong, so nothing heavy please.
We recognized that your move is important to you, but you must also understand that on a cosmic level, it means nothing, nothing at all. If we end up moving you tomorrow or next week, it will be OK, trust us.
Finally, most of our monks learned to drive in Tibet. It would be better if you drove the truck.
Customer Reviews:
"This moving company sucks! They didn't show up on time and when they did, the driver backed into a fence, which I now have to pay for."
"Wonderful experience. The monks arrived before dawn and we sat in the lawn drinking tea and watching the sun rise. After that, we called a different moving company and they moved our stuff."
"Price was a big factor in my decision to use Two Monks and a Truck. The fact that they were free was a big plus. I had hoped to move in February, but March was fine."
"Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. The two monks were both skinny as rails and incapable of lifting even the lightest boxes. My wife and I loaded and unloaded the truck ourselves. Plus, I paid to buy them lunch – they looked as though they could die from starvation at any moment!!"
"Because of Two Monks and a Truck, I am in a better place spiritually. Physically, I am still at the same address."
