3/15/08

Stop and smell the roses in ten easy steps

1. Do your research. Get to know roses. Where do they grow? What do they look like? Why should you care? Learn to recognize a rose as opposed to, say, a thistle, from ten paces away.

2. Clear your schedule. Dedicate at least half the day.

3. Wear appropriate shoes. Landscape can be tricky, especially for those unaccustomed to being out-of-doors.

4. Bees! Don't forget the EpiPen.

5. Hang up and turn off your cell phone. Yes, really!

6. Clear your head of all extraneous thoughts, except the one about where you parked.

7. Obtain all necessary permissions, pay entrance fees and visit the rest room one last time.

8. Single out a rose that you find attractive. Lean in and put your nose close to the soft, colorful pedals. Caution: Avoid the thorns. They are not fragrant, and will slice your nostril right open. (But, of course, you'll know this if you do your research. See step 1.)

9. Inhale deeply, trying not to cough, sneeze or lose your balance.

10. Equate the pleasant aroma with joie de vivre, the joy of living. Hold that thought. Hold it longer. Done.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

H to the L B, Jack

CarolynArtist said...

Jack, is a pace part of the metric system?
thnx, I'll wait, then go to step 2!

Mike said...

Damn thorns, I'm a bleeder!

CarolynArtist said...

Jack, you didn't tell us how many roses to smell, I'm guessing...
50?

Mike said...

How does footy figure into the equation? Beat ManU!

Anonymous said...

word verification comment. the word in the picture is: poapi

Anonymous said...

word verification comment. the word in the picture is: vvkuxzu

Anonymous said...

word verification comment. the word in the picture is: ahmisr

Anonymous said...

word verification comment. the word in the picture is: dbhvoc

Anonymous said...

word verification comment. the word in the picture is: xlhcon

who makes up these words, anyway?

Mike said...

Funny, the last word verification I got was "bob."

CarolynArtist said...

xbtwasvt

Mike said...

My rose died.

CarolynArtist said...

Jack there was a single white rose sitting along our long driveway at OBX. I bent over (wayyy over, it was low to the ground) to smell it...lovely aroma! Wanting to share this wonderment I invited Johnny to do the same, he looked over- said "naaah" and I know why, the secret is he was afraid if he bent over too far he'd get stuck. Why are men such dorks?

Blue Roses said...

Blooms aren't quite out yet. Too much competition with the camelias.

Mike said...

I crack myself up sometimes.